Stir-fried coconut rice with lamb and sweet potatoes

The week started so well.

The leg of lamb the man insisted on purchasing was put to good use when the mothers and others came for dinner. I admit I slightly overcooked it, nothing heinous (unless you’re French I expect) but not as pink as I would have liked. Happily our guests appeared to have less discerning palates and they were most complimentary. Of course they could just have been being kind, but the mothers are often not kind, they are honest in a way that is sometimes amusing, sometimes tactless and usually admirable. Seconds were had however and that surely means it was tasty enough to get through the first round of Masterchef, perhaps with merely a raised eyebrow from Greg Wallace and a seriously spoken ‘not bad’ from the Junior Roux. NB. Getting through the first round of Masterchef does not appear to be that tricky, I am no way claiming I have the skills and finesse of say, a quarter-finalist.

The man made some rather marvellous stock with the leg and that plus the leftover meat was used to make Mary’s Saturday Soup. Absolutely gorgeous. The recipe is in The Return of the Naked Chef and I had never cooked it despite having had the book for years. It is rather strange that although I am far more a fan of Nigel Slater’s homely simplicity I seem to have accumulated an obscene number of Jamie Oliver”s tomes. Well, four. But still!

Anyway the soup is West Indian in origin (as in from the West Indies not from the West of India) and is packed full of sweet potato, butternut squash, coconut, spices, lamb (oviously) and then deliciously topped with soft, steaming dumplings. (Mr Oliver not so generous with the dumplings, his recipe gave us about one each, needless to say I doubled). This soup is so hearty my sister insisted it was a stew. Stew or soup it was glorious, quarter-finals here I come!

(NB. At no point was Jamie actually naked was her? That was just a catchy title wasn’t it? Or is there some farcical story attached to it? Answers on an e-card please)

The leftovers of this concotion were then fried up with some boiled rice (see picure) and sprinkled with some spring onions and chilli to make a warm and filling supper that enabled me to bask in the glow of my own economy. Not necessarily financial, but ingrediential, or something.  Sadly the glow was soon to fade, I made the mistake of dipping back into Jamie Oliver, ho ho.

Ravioli with pine nuts, ricotta, parmesan and loadsa herbs (but not necessarily in that order) brought with it frustration and waste and replaced it with lost time, hours never to be regained. Yum! I thought as I read the recipe, ooh I’ve not made fresh pasta in ages I reflected as my excitment grew, the decision was easily made, and bitterly regretted. Okay, enough with the melodrama, on with the (pine)nuts and bolts of the story.

I chose the Pauper’s Cookbook recipe for pasta over Jamie’s, what with his using about twelve eggs and the former using just five. Yes, his he has self-proclaimed as ‘blinding’ and eggs aren’t that expensive but he uses eight yolks! On my waste-not kick I would have eight egg whites to find a use for and I rather think that is beyond my beginners’ level. (I cannot countenance even the concept of an egg white omlette, it is healthy eating gone mad, and tasteless.)

I floured, I rolled, I floured, I machined, I floured, I cut, I floured, I piled, I floured some more. Regardless of the flour overload the piled up pieces of pasta stuck togetehr anyway and so the process started again. Once part one was complete I began part two; I filled and covered and wetted and stuck over and over and over again. Covered in flour, hair askew, I ended up with a lump of leftover pasta dough I couldn’t face. It remains in the fridge. Ravioli came, saw my resolution, and conquered it. Still it was gobbled up within minutes and I’m bloody glad they appreciated it because it will be a long time before they get it again!

All is not lost. I shall begin again. Already I am mentally surveying the contents of my fridge; a leek, a courgette, some rocket and herbs, ham and cheese. In my cupboards; chickpeas, canellini beans, lentils, tinned tomatoes and various spices. It’s gonna be interesting.

I have been inspired. Or something that means the same but is far less cheesy-sounding. Trying to live on a budget, or within moderate means, had me reaching for the wonderful Pauper’s Cookbook and that, backed up by the great Nigel Slater’s fantastic new series (‘making it up is not making do’) hardened my resolve to banish waste from my kitchen.

I want to make great food and save money, I want to stop relying quite so heavily on recipes, I want to do what I most fear; experiment in the kitchen. Ahem. I want to eat less – better quality – meat.

This blog will follow my travails, be they good or merely disasterous.

 Young actors will have the chance to work with two of Britain’s most respected stars thanks to the King’s Theatre.

 Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan will appear in Samuel Beckett’s Waiting for Godot in April next year. Open auditions will be held on the 11^th and 12^th December to find two actors to play the part of ‘the boys’.

 ”The quite exciting thing is they’re actually going to be acting with Ian and Patrick, rather than just a random walk on part.” Alice Driver, the Education and Learning Manager of the Theatre Royal Haymarket, said.

 The Theatre Royal Haymarket, who is producing the play in association with Duncan C. Weldon Productions Ltd, said they thought it was important to cast local actors.

 ”We could have actually cast some boys from London and toured with them, but we feel quite strongly about helping regenerate the theatre base and the theatre audience.” Driver explains, “It’s a really nice way for people who’ve never gone to anything like this, who don’t have an agent, who don’t know people in the industry, to just come along and be given a go.”

 The chosen boys will work alternate nights playing two characters aged ten, but any boy up to the age of 15 will be welcome to audition.

 Driver says anyone interested in acting should come along, and they shouldn’t be nervous about working with such big stars.

 ”Ian and Patrick are really excited about working with the boys… they’re going to be rehearsing with Ian and Patrick the day before [the play opens]. I’m sure there will be initial nerves but after a while they’ll relax, even though they’re working with big names they’re actually very easy going and really nice guys.”

 Nigel Le Page, National Director of the Helen O’Grady Drama Academy says: “It is a fantastic opportunity for our children… there are probably not enough opportunities like this. We get approached fairly regularly, but they’re very isolated areas, very specific.”

 Glyn Owen, Principal of the Edinburgh and Mid-Scotland branch of the academy tells his pupils – some of whom he is sure will go along – not to take auditions too seriously.

 ”It’s a nice experience and we always to say take it as a day, take the audition as a fun session, don’t put anything into it apart from the fun of going along and doing it.” He advises.

 While it may not be a leading role Driver says the part is pivotal to the play, “so it’s important the boys are quite strong actors.”

Anyone wanting to audition should download an audition pack.

[First published on Dunedin Napier News on 27th November 2008.]

By Sarah Hunter-Argyle

Lothian and Borders Police admit that a recent drink driving campaign doesn’t tell us whether there are fewer drink drivers on the road.

 A few years ago they stopped recording negative test results during drink driving campaigns which means they don’t know if the percentage of drink drivers has gone up or down.

 Operations Inspector with the Road Policing Branch, Jillian Kerr, told Dunedin Napier News: “You can’t really tell what it is that has brought the figure down… and one of my bugbears personally is that a couple of years ago ACPOS [Association of Chief Police Officers in Scotland] decided that we wouldn’t record negative breath tests, we’d only record positive. So yes we’ve got less but is that because we’ve breath tested less?”

 A recent four week campaign run over the festive period caught 93 drink drivers, which seemed to be an improvement on last year’s figures when 120 people were arrested over the same period.

 Kerr said: “It would be better to say we’ve tested more and we’ve caught less, you can’t really tell if drink driving is down if you don’t know. I would imagine we did test more because of the amount of officers we had out but we can’t say that because we don’t know.”

 Kerr said the festive and summer drink driving campaigns are mainly there to remind people that catching drink drivers is an extremely high priority and to act as a deterrent.

 But Neil Greig, from Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM), believes it is not intensive temporary campaigns that are needed to cut the number of drink driving offences but more police on patrol.

He said: “It’s the fear of getting caught or being shopped by someone that stops people from drink-driving. The maximum penalty for causing death by dangerous driving while under the influence of alcohol is 14 years in prison, but people don’t think about that.

“Last year, 460 people in the UK lost their lives as a direct result of being involved in accidents where drivers were under the influence of either drink or drugs.”

 Kerr said: “Drink driving is one of our core offences that we target and really the ultimate aim is to try and reduce casualties on the roads… and we target it 365 days a year. Really the only purpose of the campaign is to remind the public this is what we are doing.”

[First published on Dunedin Napier News on 8th January 2009.]

Anyway, to help ease the pain here are two pieces published in The Journal; an interview with Lyceum artistic director Mark Thomson and one with the Evening News cartoonist Frank Boyle.

The Alchemist

Mark Thomson

It’s been nearly five years since Mark Thomson took over as artistic director at the Lyceum and it’s clear to see he hasn’t lost any enthusiasm for the job. He’s directed his own plays, Shakespeare and the mammoth Faust (parts one and two), as well as over seeing recent productions of the Glass Menagerie and Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author.

His success is no doubt in part down to the fact that he takes his responsibility for the theatre very seriously. Part of the Lyceum’s mission statement is about entertaining and stimulating the citizens of Edinburgh and for Mark Thomson that’s about having a dialogue with the audience, a conversation.

“I’ve tried to create a social integrity to the work,” he says, “which means that what we do on stage has something to say about the lives we’re living. I’m firmly of the mind that I’m charged with not being a purely commercial enterprise. It’s important that this has a social dialogue with not just Edinburgh but Scotland.”

For Thomson this about each production having a resonance with what society is dealing with now. The recent production of Six Characters in Search of an Author, a story about a group of characters telling their story – involving an ex husband almost sleeping with his ex wife’s daughter without realising who she was – to a group of actors, was a reflection of society today trying to find its moral centre.

He explains: “With the church losing ground I don’t think people have a clear code of how to behave anymore or what’s right or what’s wrong, or what’s my job of being a human being on earth, what are my limitations, are there any? So there’s no moral centre, it creates a real disturbance I think, in the world.”

Thomson is open to any ideas and they don’t have to be his own. If a director approaches him with a project and he likes it then it quickly becomes about finding the right people for that particular play. And the process of going from an idea to a finished piece is not set in stone.

Thomson says: “You’re trying to make gold, the ingredients are the director, the play, the actors, the designers and all the creative team, and I try to gather them together in such a way so we can make gold, at least theoretically, sometimes you come out with base metal, but art isn’t mathematical.”

For his next play, Vanity Fair, Thomson read it, loved it and asked Tony Cowan to direct it: “I needed someone who would be inventive and playful with it, who would be able to get their head round the physical aspects of the production, those pieces of dialogue that demand an invention of every page or two.”

In fact it’ll soon be time for this piece to be revealed to the artistic director, but Thomson is confident it’s going to be good.

“You get that just from talking to them and you can usually tell from the faces…you can sniff when it’s not going well, usually when there is tension and you’ve got a director greeting in your office. 

(First published March 2008 )

On the Boyle

 The usual reverential silence that pervades most art exhibitions is curiously missing on the first floor of the City Art Centre. Instead the hush is punctuated by a series of staccato snorts and sniggers – snorts which make total sense when you have a wee look yourself. On display is a selection of cartoons from the Evening News’ daily cartoonist Frank Boyle.

“To be topical and funny and everything, it’s very hard going. It’s quite stressful you know, to do one a day and keep coming up with ideas,” he says. So, five days a week Boyle’s task is to capture the mood of a story in a single frame: “a picture is worth a thousand words” is quite possibly written into his job description.

Boyle, who lives in Glasgow, feels his degree of separation from the city gives him an edge: “I think it’s good to be an outsider, you know, when you see Edinburgh in a different light, as an outsider, that’s not a bad thing actually. I try to wander around, get a feel, go into pubs and cafes, and get feel for the areas. You just sort of pick up a kind of sense of what people want, what people are thinking.”

For a caricaturist some people are easier to capture than others. “Nicol Stephen [Scottish Lib Dem leader], he’s very difficult to do because he’s really not got any obvious features which kind of stick out but Salmond’s good. He’s brilliant to draw, yeah, his face, he’s got this incredibly round face. You could almost start drawing him with a compass.”

But do these politicians ever take offence at the constant ridicule? “I think most politicians have to have a thick skin because you get abused left, right and centre. But apparently some are a bit more sensitive,” pause for a cheeky laugh. “I won’t name any names but I’ve been told one or two people rather take themselves too seriously, have rather grandiose views of their own importance and they get annoyed about it.”

But it’s not all about piss-taking in the cartoon game, and there are some serious stories Boyle can simply not ignore. The exhibition features Boyle’s commemoration of 7/7, which as it came the day after London won the Olympics, he illustrated with five wreaths in the pattern of the Olympic symbol.

“You’ve got to do something. So, it’s trying to do something, a memorable image, that’ll maybe stick in people’s minds and has a certain poignancy. It’s trying to get the right balance of something hard hitting but not crass, not too sentimental.”

And that’s why Frank Boyle has become an Edinburgh institution. Because he can capture the mood of the moment, with a sharp and intelligent eye, whether with humour or sensitivity, he does it with feeling, every single day.

 (First published February 2008 )

The festival phenomenon

Next week the Lonely Planet travel guide empire will arrive in the capital; bringing with it its first ever film festival. With performances of Amelie and the Italian Job at Edinburgh’s Cameo Cinema the festival is attempting to inspire travellers with the destinations seen on screen. The festival is taking place in cinemas around Britain and the team behind hope it will become an annual event.

The Mod, a festival which celebrates Gaelic culture, is over one hundred years old and while at its inception it was one of very few annual festivals it is now one of a growing number. From the better known – Edinburgh Festival Fringe for example, to the slightly obscure – the country’s first ever snowdrop festival – Scotland plays host to hundreds of festivals each year.

The Edinburgh International Festival (EIF) will celebrate its sixtieth anniversary this summer. When it began in 1947 the founding ethos of the event was to reunite the spirit of the European people after the war, by bringing international performers to Scotland. It wasn’t however, the only reason a festival was believed to be a good idea.

Susie Burnett, marketing manager of EIF says: “The founding fathers also recognised that if this festival worked that then they were going to bring in a huge new source of revenue for the country and also a huge profile”.

The festival was a success and remains a yearly event that attracts performers from all over the world. Susie Burnett explains why she thinks it still appeals to audiences: “I think people love the atmosphere, the buzz, the thrill of seeing, especially unusual collaborations between different artists, who’ll come together to do something only for the festivals. So we’ve brought to together big teams of people, Christopher Wheeldon and the San Fransisco ballet with Tchaikovsky Radio Symphony Orchestra for instance”.

Nowadays the EIF is jostling for space among a host of other summer festivals in Edinburgh as well as a huge number around Scotland. In August Edinburgh is also home to the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Edinburgh International Book Festival and the Edinburgh International Film Festival to name but a few. New events are springing up all the time, such as Highland 2007, which is a year long programme of events to entice people to and show off the highlands.

Among the many attractions is The Outsider Festival, a new music festival set in Rothiemurchus in the Cairngorms which aims encourage an understanding of the environment as well an enjoyment of the music on offer. Last week it was announced the KT Tunstall and Crowded House would be headlining.

With so many festivals in Scotland and the UK now it can be difficult to impress the public. Pete Irvine, director of Unique Events, the company behind The Outsider says many festivals have become too formulaic and that he hopes his festival will offer something new: “We wanted to create a completely new type of festival… something was unique to the highlands and unique to the world. Something that was really ours… a festival that celebrated its place and in this case it’s the most beautiful part of Scotland”. The Outsider will feature a mountain bike and running events, as well as nature watching activities to try and offer the 21^st century festival-goer something a little different.

The Edinburgh International Book Festival started in 1983 after it was realised that all the major arts were represented in the Edinburgh festivals apart from literature. It has grown dramatically since that debut which attracted 30,000 people and 100 authors. Last year 215,000 people attended the festival to see some 633 authors.

When the festival began it was one a few book festivals in the UK, now there are approximately three hundred. For the festival director, Catherine Lockerbie, it’s a constant challenge to keep things fresh and exciting. She says: “One of the big changes I have really gone in very strongly on is that we’ve become a forum for public debate on current affairs… Now it is one of the engines of the festival… Scottish is one distinctive feature, international is another. International is absolutely crucial. And the other big book festivals in the UK and elsewhere, Cheltenham for example and some of the Canadian ones are still not as international as we are. And it seems to me that’s what a festival is for”.

Barbara Absolon, international events director of EventScotland believes that successful festivals and events are important to the future of Scotland’s tourism industry. She says: “This arm of tourism, event tourism, is using events to drive people into, in this case, Scotland. So I think it is imperative to the economic impact and the economic benefit of the country”.

Tourism is one of Scotland’s biggest and fastest growing industries. This week Scottish Tourism Week was held, organised by the Scottish Tourism Forum to promote the continuing growth of the industry. One of the MSPs attending events was Tourism Minister Patricia Ferguson who announced last week that Scotland should be aiming the increase its tourism revenues by 50 per cent by 2015.

Already 9 per cent of the population rely on this industry for their employment, 204,000 are employed in tourism-related jobs. In 2005 17.2 million visitors came to Scotland spending just over £4.2 billion.

But it is not only tourism that festivals can encourage; Barbara Absolon believes that a country’s cultural life is a factor in attracting immigration. She says: “When big companies are looking to locate or re-locate and they’ve got highly skilled and intelligent workforces they look for places their workforces will be happy… and of course the cultural life is a big part of what interests people”.

Susie Burnett agrees: “I think culture is more and more recognised in terms of what it can do for, of course economic and political development, but also for social development”.

Pete Irvine is wary of some festivals that he believes don’t have any real interest in contributing to Scotland as a whole. He says: “I don’t think that a pop fest, like T in the Park, has a good impact [on Scotland] because it is not even a Scottish company… so the money goes away. There are no hotels in that area so no one is benefiting, no restaurants, maybe some gas stations but that’s it. We’re really trying to do the opposite… we’re involving dozens of people in the area to provide activities… and we hope that the hotels and guest houses and stuff book up around us”.

With the idea that most Scottish festivals do increase Scotland’s profile while bringing in large amounts to money, the directors of all the Edinburgh festivals – not just the summer ones – have formed an association (Festivals Edinburgh) to work with Scottish authorities in promoting the positive aspects of the festival industry.

Catherine Lockerbie says: “We are saying these festivals are not just a bit of culture in the summer, or winter for that matter, this the greatest single mass of cultural activity in the world, bringing in £184 million for the Scottish economy for peanuts investment”.

Festivals Edinburgh along with the Scottish Arts Council, the Scottish Executive, EventScotland, City of Edinburgh Council and Scottish Enterprise commissioned a report last year called Thundering Hooves to gauge the importance of the festivals to the country’s tourism industry. It looked at other festivals worldwide, and in assessing the competition found that many other festivals outside of Scotland are being heavily invested in. It warns that without changes in Scotland, the ‘thundering hooves’ may go elsewhere.

Catherine Lockerbie says: “Festivals are one of our world leading brands and the way we are funded and received needs to be more strategic. ‘Thundering Hooves’ proves that Edinburgh is still the leading festival in the world and we need to keep it that way.”

What glass ceiling?

Harvey Nichols has just opened and waiting for Annette Lamb in the Four Floor Brassiere is an interesting experience. A new waitress is shown the ropes while a large display of pink flowers are replaced by three towering vases of calla lilies. The staff chat quietly in the empty restaurant with its immaculately set tables and soothing, easy listening music that hums from the sound system. An incongruous touch is added in the form of an iron sitting on the bar.

Annette Lamb bustles in, phone in hand; a sure sign of a busy employee. Wearing a black suit with just a hint of décolletage, a streak of pink lipstick and blonde hair in a loose ponytail she easily fulfils the image one might have of a marketing director at a designer clothes emporium.

Annette is of the old school. She was not fast-tracked into management as a business graduate, she worked her way up. Her life in retail began in Canada, working in Simpson Sears in Calgary and she immediately felt an affinity with the shop floor. Starting at the bottom of the ladder is something both she and Harvey Nichols strongly advocates: “Harvey Nichols as a company is very good at supporting their staff and propelling them up the ladder. There are a lot of buyers at head office who started off on the shop floor so it’s the best way to learn anything, if you start at the bottom.”

On returning to Scotland she worked in a friend’s boutique before getting a job in Jenners’ Perfumery Department. Promoted from the lowly ranks of shop assistant to department manager she soon found herself travelling around Europe as buyer for the accessories department. Later on she set up the shop’s personal shopper service and it was this experience that recommended her to Harvey Nichols. Five years ago she joined the team at its highly anticipated Edinburgh store as head of its personal shopping.

With the opening of Harvey Nichols came an unexpected influx of press interest and Annette soon found herself taking on the new role of marketing manager. Since she has been given this title those in charge at Harvey Nichols HQ have decided that every new store will have a marketing manager. For Annette it was very much a case of learning on the hoof: “Because we have the headquarters in London we don’t really see them that often. We got so much press, because we have the nationals up here as well; ‘Scotland’s Harvey Nichols’, everyone was interested, so we thought it would be sensible for me just to keep working on that. I started to make quite a lot of contacts with the press and then it kind of snowballed, it just makes more sense, to have someone on the ground, in the area.”

It’s a busy life. Responsible for all the organising and advertising of all Harvey Nichols events Annette has recently been given the task of raising the profile of the fourth floor; the restaurant, brassiere and food department. Another sector she took over was the organising of the store’s fashion shows, every year she arranges two; spring/summer and autumn/winter as well as the summer and Christmas parties. She says: “We did our first couple of shows and got a project management company to come in and do it all and it wasn’t right. You know, you knew yourself it wasn’t right, so I said look I can do better job than this, I’ll do it.”

As this year will be the shop’s five year birthday she is planning a week-long event to mark the occasion. She is undaunted by the fact that Harvey Nichols does not recognise five year anniversaries and so will not donate any money to the cause. She says: “I’m working on the idea; five days, five years… something different each day, five things to eat, one day have a birthday cake, one day champagne, one day balloons, you know, throughout the store, and have things happening all week. However, we don’t have a budget, so it’s going to have to be really scraped from other areas.”

Born and raised in Edinburgh, despite living and working in Canada for four years Annette is very much a home-girl: “I think you have to go away somewhere else to appreciate where you come from. Edinburgh, I love Edinburgh. I think it is just the best place ever. I live in the New Town so I can walk to work. It’s like living in the country but you are actually in town. We’re very lucky in Edinburgh that people still live in the centre, it’s not just completely empty at weekends, I mean you know in London when you go into the centre on Saturday night, it’s dead, pubs are quiet, it’s really really dead. It’s completely different here, I just love the atmosphere, it’s got everything.”

She thinks it’s extremely important to try and keep young Scots here but believes they may have to be adaptable to remain north of the border. Too many leave university with inflated expectations and drift out of Scotland with the hope of fulfilling them elsewhere. With a little flexibility however Annette believes they could find many prospects in the capital: “There are opportunities in Edinburgh. Still I can see things and think that would be good, I could do that. A lot of colleges push their kids out and they expect this much salary, but it’s not going to happen that way… if you look at things like the advertising business some of the best agencies in the world are up here, they do all the big commercials that are on television.”

Although unsurprisingly much of Annette’s time is spent catering to the more affluent city-dwellers Harvey Nichols has been working to help aspiring young designers; every year they work with Edinburgh College of Art to showcase their fashion graduates. Annette says: “It gives the graduates a chance to show their collections which they would never be able to afford to do. We can work it that we have the set-up already there for our spring/summer show and the company that I deal with are very good and let us have it for a small amount of money for an extra day. I have to scrounge the alcohol for the reception, I’m very good at scrounging, it’s one of the talents you need.”

“Last year at the Fashion Festival we did four shows and one of them was Charity Chic. We did it for the local church, and it was all connected with different charity shops throughout the city and we pulled together collections from that. It was a horrendous amount of work but we did extremely well and the charities all made a huge amount of money, we got huge press on it, it was great. They are very keen to do it again… they may have backing from Edinburgh Council this time.”

Annette’s phone rings and as she answers my gaze drifts over to the bar area; the iron is gone, and so soon will my interviewee. Before she leaves Annette ask me about my future plans and tells me: “I think it is good to move away for a while when you are young, definitely. If you don’t do it, you’re always going to wonder.”

Top Ten Free Edinburgh Attractions

 The Scottish Parliament, Royal Mile

Opening hours:                Business days (Tues-Thurs) – 9am – 7pm

                                                Non business days (Mon/Fri) – 10am – 6pm

Money! Money! Money! £400 million to be exact, but was it all worth it? Get down there and judge for yourselves. Go on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday for a chance to see a Committee or Parliament meeting in motion. Tickets to such are free but booking is recommended.

 Royal Botanic Gardens, Inverleith Row (East Gate), Arboretum Place (West Gate)

Opening hours:                Daily 10am – 7pm (6pm in Oct, 4pm Nov-Feb)

Having a romantic moment? Indulge your poetic soul with a walk through this beautifully landscaped garden. Paintings by American modernist Robert Ryman can be seen in Inverleith House until 1^st October while the Exhibition Hall features the island chain of Soqotra – ‘the Galapagos of the Indian Ocean’.

 The New Town

It may be an Edinburgh landmark now but a few centuries ago the Old Town was overcrowded, dirty and downright unsanitary. The New Town was built to relieve the strain and now is one of the city’s most desirable areas. Charlotte Square is a beautiful example of Georgian architecture and visitors can admire Bute House, home to First Minister Jack McConnell, from the outside at least.

 Arthur’s Seat, Holyrood Park

Arthur’s Seat and the surrounding hills are a wild and untamed wonder. Wander up or roll down but mind you don’t end up in one of the Lochs. Watch out for Salisbury crags, that rocky outcrop is not for the faint-hearted.

 Museum of Scotland, Chamber Street

Opening hours:                Daily 10am – 5pm

Museums, eh, dull aren’t they? Bah! Not so. Learn about Scotland’s wildlife, lands and people from its very beginning right up to life in the midst of the industrial revolution. Fear not the great halls of history!

 Scottish National Gallery of Modern Art and the Dean Gallery, Belford Road

Opening hours:                Daily 10am – 5pm

Bored of all the high-culture, ye olde art? Check out the world of contemporary, challenging and somewhat baffling modern art at these splendid galleries, conveniently situated across the road from each other. Marvel over Picasso, Matisse, Mackintosh and Paolozzi, or shake your head with disdain, the choice is yours.

 Portobello Beach

Back in the day Portobello was a tourist destination in its own right, now the community has more than a touch of suburbia about it. Still, it has a beach – complete with traditional promenade – which is something the rest of the city can’t boast.

 St Gile’s Catherdral and the Royal Mile

Opening hours:               

Mon – Fri –          9am – 7pm (Oct 5pm)

Saturday –           9am – 7pm (Oct 5pm)
Sunday -              1pm – 5pm and for services

One does not have to be of a religious bent to enjoy this airy erection. Some admire its magnificent architecture and stained glass windows while others are happy merely sitting quietly, soaking up the peaceful atmosphere that pervades the church.

 National Gallery of Scotland, Princes Street

Opening hours:                Daily 10am – 5pm (7pm Thurs)

No delusions of grandeur here, with masterpieces from the Renaissance to post-impressionist era. Monet, Botticelli, Titan and Gaughin vie for space alongside the largest collection of Scottish art in the world – something which one would hope to see in the country’s captial.

 The Water of Leith

It ain’t the cleanest of environments, recently dredged up along with the usual city detritus was a surfboard, a corset and a blow-up doll. Other than that it is difficult to fault this is a beautiful, leafy 12 mile walkway, much loved by locals.

How to… lie convincingly

“It is always the best policy to speak the truth,” Jerome K Jerome said, “unless of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.” Not a bad wee rule that.

Now, we all know lying is bad. As we know drugs are bad, and smoking is bad, and bitching about people behind their backs is bad, Lying is just one of those bad things people do. All. The. Time. And unlike some of the other ‘bad’ things mentioned, it would be nigh impossible to find someone who doesn’t lie. And nearly as difficult to find someone who doesn’t lie on a regular basis.

Could you make it through a whole day telling the absolute truth?

“How are you?” What a loaded question. How much you could say. But of course few people really want you to tell them.

There are some situations when an honest answer is expected. If, for instance, you’ve just broken up with your boyfriend of five years and reacted by hacking your beautiful long hair off with a kitchen knife, drinking two bottles of (eek!) Glenns vodka, and screaming abuse at people in the street, your best friend arrives on your doorstep, gazes at your red-faced, drunken and twitching visage and says, with an expression of extreme concern verging on terror, “how are you?” It’s safe to say they don’t expect you to say “fine”.

Generally, of course, that is exactly what is expected. “Fine” or, “alright” or, “no bad” or “great”. “Brand new” is a favourite of mine, “tired”, “knackered” and “hungover” are all acceptable. “Verging on suicidal” or “praising the Lord for every minute of my fabulous life” are less so.

So, one question, and chances are you’re lying already. Tut tut.

What about these:

“Have you done your reading?”

“Do you like this hat/scarf//jumper/dress/necklace/random item of clothing?”

“What age are you?”

“When are you going to do those dishes?”

“Will you be staying in this weekend to work?”

“Are they more attractive than me?”

“Do you think I’m paranoid/over-sensitive/aggressive/a push-over/too short/too fat/too tall/too loud/clever/stupid/irrational/insane/in style?”

“Are you annoyed at me? Upset with me? Not talking to me?” And the dreaded “what are you thinking?” Generally restricted to couples.

See? You big fibbers you! We all know it just makes life that little bit easier, no harm, no foul.

Some people would disagree with that latter bit. Yup, the no harm, no foul bit. Immanuel Kant’s ethical law is so strict about having absolute principles, I.e. lying is wrong, that even if a murder asked you where their would-be victim was you should tell them. Otherwise you would be lying, which is WRONG. No matter what the fecking murdering dude is up to. Madness!

Anyway, if we’ve got to lie, and I think I’ve demonstrated it is an absolute necessity, then we might as well do it right.

 So. The Rules:

• Blink. Yes, blink. Liars tend to blink less than the honest folks.
• Watch you don’t pause for too long as naughty fibbers are prone to do.
• Use your hands. (That’s good advice generally). When people are telling the truth they tend to move their hands and arms about to make their point more.
• Throw in a few details. Because of the need to remember what they’ve said and not contradict themselves liars tend to keep it simple. Go wild!
• Don’t get squeaky. Those who are avoiding the truth often get a little on the high-pitched side. Think Garbo and gravel people.
• Don’t fidget, or self-groom. Ditto gaze aversion. None of these are real ‘tells’ when it comes to lying. People tend to move less when they’re lying and avoiding someone’s eye also has nowt to do with fibbing. However. Studies tell us people think they do. So don’t do them!
• Exude confidence darling! Expressive people are always judged as being more honest. Their spontaneity comes across as natural and believable and makes them more credible then the self-conscious and uncertain speaker.

 But don’t worry about it too much; apparently people aren’t actually very good at spotting liars anyway. On average studies show people only detect lies 55 per cent of the time. Of course, you could just tell the truth. What the hey! I don’t care! I’m fine! How are you?

How to… survive a snowstorm

Okay, so despite the fact that we all love to bitch the weather, north and south of the border, it really isn’t likely we’re going to find ourselves in the midst of a snowstorm in Great Britannia. It may be dreek and dreary, wet and windy and generally unpleasant, but in the great age of global warming we’re lucky if it snows a handful of times a year.

Still, and here is the ultimate point, it could happen. And please, please, please don’t tell me you’re all going to stay here for the rest of your lives. There is a huge and exciting world out there people, and some of it is cold. C.O.L.D. Cold. Like, some of it is freezing man. And I don’t want you to fear it. I want you to be prepared.

And being prepared is the first rule of surviving snowstorms.

Think clothing, lots of it, wear layers and have more to hand.

Make sure you have food and water on you, once snowed in; the chances of nipping to Tescos for some Pot Noodle are slim.

Have a mobile phone. Nuff said.

Something to signal your position is a good idea. I’ve read suggestions ranging from a red handkerchief to a sign that says help but anything to mark where you are is going to increase your chances of survival.

Keep an eye on those extremities, or in English, yer hands and feet. When cold it’s a normal response for the body divert blood away from those areas – if they get too cold frost nip could set in. Now that might sound like the cuter younger brother of frostbite and that’s exactly what it is, without the cute factor. The skin will lose sensation and colour and before you know it; frostbite. Dum dum dum. That’s bad people. Now we’re looking at the skin and tissue actually freezing, if the muscles are affected that’s when you really need to worry, body parts are beginning to lose the will to live, and if you do survive you will probably do so minus some toes and fingers.

Find a mate. No, not like that. Jeez, the youth of today. Having another person around will not only help raise your body heat (again, I’m talking non sexually here) but you can also keep an eye on each other, watching for signs of frostbite or hypothermia.

Be female. This is not as simple as it sounds. Not for those with that naughty Y chromosome anyway. Still if you are a member of the fairer sex it’s time to feel quietly confident, you’re more likely to survive extreme cold! Bet that’s made your week. It’s all to do with women keeping more heat at their core, something vital in surviving freezing temperatures. And, this may be less welcome news; ladies usually have more subcutaneous fat, which helps keep us warm.

Shiver. Okay, this’ll just happen automatically but it’s a good thing. Shivering is the body’s attempt to increase body heat, and it’s pretty efficient; it can up heat production five-fold.

Find shelter. This is a big one. If a house/car/cave isn’t nearby you’re going to have to dig yourself in. Don’t go overboard here; a small hole you can fit yourself in is best.  Yes you’ll still be cold but getting out of the wind is the most important element here. If you’re wrapped up warm in -29°C you’ll be in little danger, but if a light 10mph wind is blowing the temperature will more like -44°C, and in cold like that flesh can freeze in a minute, knock that wind up to 25mph and it’ll be seconds.

So, there you are, if I hear about any Napier students freezing to death in Alaska, I can safely say; it ain’t my fault.

Cafe Marina on Cockburn Street – the best affordable Italian in the city!

Cafe Truva on the Shore -  Turkish delight found a little off the beaten track.

Cornerstone Cafe on Lothian Road – cheap and cheerful fun with chickpeas.

The Fair Trade Coffee Shop down Leith Walk – bagels and breakfast with free internet thrown in.

Forest on Bristo Place – Fabulous falafels despite the disappointing lack of vegetation.

Glass and Thompson on Dundas Street – Classy but lacking in pretension with scrummy deli style goodness.

Jasper’s Coffee and Juice Bar on Grove Street – JUICE JUICE JUICE!

S Luca on Morningside Road – sausages, chips and ice cream, practically perfect for the bairns.

The Manna House on Easter Road – it’s all in the name, one dictionary defines it as “divine or spirtual food”.

Maxi’s on Raeburn Place – a Stockbridge institution particularly favoured by the rather old and the fairly young (accompanied by their mas).

Metropole on Newington Road – cosy as an old slipper, while it has nothing truly exciting about it everyone can find comfort there. 

Simple Feast on Howe Street – something for every harried office worker looking for a takeaway, and a nice place for to take a load off for those with a little more time.

Spoon on Blackfriars Street – A totally original outlet, fresh local produce cooked with flair, go on, get ye there!

Two Thin Laddies on High Riggs – A grand place often overlooked, gorgeous hot lunches and according to some, the best cheese scones in the city.

The Zulu Lounge on Morningside Road – Teeny tiny but bright as a button and everything is scrum-diddly-umptious!

Coming in April 2009: The newest issue of the List Eating and Drinking Guide, yes, I shall be spending February and March enjoying the best food on offer in the city’s bars and pubs.

CV

List Eating and Drinking Guide

Reviewer – writing restaurant reviews as well as section introductions.

January 2007 – PRESENT

 Syngenta

Communications Advisor

Duties:

Responsible for the off-site newsletter, sent around the world. Source and write stories, design and layout.

Responsible for writing intranet stories, both local and national.

Submitting stories to national Syngenta magazine – Synthesis.

Making short films for Syngenta conferences.

July 2008 – PRESENT

impulse

Editor

Duties:

Writing features and interviews

Deciding on input, and editing contributor articles

Liasing with production, features and advertising

Sourcing images

Deciding on content of magazine, audience, angles, etc

General subbing

February – June 2008

Clocks Magazine

Freelance Editorial Assistant

Duties: 

Writing news stories and book reviews

Editing and subbing

Design and layout

November 2003 – September 2006